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(no subject) [Jul. 8th, 2004|11:37 pm]
internet journals are such bullshit.
i love the people on my friends list
and i love writing in mine
but in reality... they are all just superimposed
we write one thing to the perspective audience
but do others when no one is reading.
everything you read is what someone placed there
so obviously everything can't be taken as gold
every truth is anywhere from 10%-60% existing
it's their word
and you never really think to question it
but isn't it odd?
you can make yourself out to be whomever you want to be
i love reading journals of people i know in person and i see regularly
i like seeing how they interpret situations
and what parts of things they tell... what things they choose to leave out.
i'm in complete awe of this
it's fascinating, really...

i love how you tell me one thing but write another
i have my ways of knowing and it's really ironic
but then sickeningly funny

i wish people would just be honest and real with me
and then in return be honest and real with everyone else
lying is such bullshit
and a complete waste of my fucking time.

i leave at 4:30 am. driving into the rising sun is better than driving at night while it's dark the whole trip.
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(no subject) [Jul. 8th, 2004|12:10 pm]
My Uncle has 3 days to get a liver transplant before he dies. Even if he gets one we might still lose him, he hasn't responded to anything in a few days.

Theoretically the love of my sister's "hard-knock" 23 year old life has 2 weeks, Realistically he has 5 days, to get a bacterial infection out of his bloodstream. It was due to a Dr. not cleaning up properly after they took his appendix out.

When it rains it pours.

Last night... or moreso this morning, Mac showed she was invaluable to me.
She calmed my fears.

I guess I'm heading to Albuquerque again today or tomorrow.
I don't want to do this.
His death will kill my Nanny.
She loved him so much.

I wish I had my phone.
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Drunk ass Bitches [Jun. 21st, 2004|01:32 pm]
Caddy Ranch party in 3 1/2 hours! Oh shit! Have to find a costume! Have to buy cigs! Have to recover from last nights hangover from painting the caddys! LBK always carries a polariod camera, he got a lot of pictures of Mac and I, but these were the only two "decent" (hah) ones that he let me steal. We had badass "war paint" huh? haha. Tonight promises good times. I'm psyched.

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Access Denied. [May. 9th, 2004|04:13 pm]
I've decided some of my pictures are a little too risqué to let everyone see
so from now on it's friends only kids.

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